Video game debunk: Games you think are good but are actually shit.

Current trend amongst the gaming community is constant sub-par game releases that seem to get praised, both critically and publically. Okay, this is obviously just my opinion as it is, of course, my blog. But the very real and obvious faults and flaws with these games are glaringly present yet no one takes note of these.

Video game journalists hand out high praise and scores to games that are flat out bad or nothing new at all. A new video game costs £39.99, maybe because they get them for free any old rehashed turkey will do. Sequels in particular always get the marks knotched up. I hate game developers, one month after their game is out, they announce the second and promise all new features and improvements. Cheers.

So here's the list of games, recent and aging, that are flat out bad or just mediocre enough to not warrant 9/10 marks in magazines and internet sites.


Killzone 2(PS3):

In the making for years and seen as Sony's poster boy game; they flaunted it's graphical prowress all over E3 back in 2004 and arrived earlier this year. Did it live up to its hype? According to plenty, yes it did. Wait a minute, didn't I see better or just as good fps arrive in bulk between then? What resulted from Killzone 2 (being a sequel to a medoicre ps2 title) was a mediocre PS3 title. The graphics were nice sure, but the drab colour pallet and level design was horribly boring to look it. I've seen intentionally drab and gritty environments that work effectively. This does not. It's dull and uninteresting. Oh wow, more grey and black, way to show off the "killer" graphics.
Aside from being bored and wondering why anyone would make a game so void of life, you'll also be crushing your controller till the joysticks pop out of frustration. The controls are clunky, the character trudges along like a snail trailing in cement. It isn't fun. I don't want to play a character that feels like Jabba the Hutt. What results is mind numbing migranes as you take a lifetime to just move your gun to the left and kill the 5 odd guys ripping your skin with bullets. Also present is the explosive barrell in bright red for help. Surely in the age of the next gen, this old yeller of a game device is fucking jurassic?

The classic fanboy defense is always "Oh, just cos it aint COD4, doesn't mean it's bad."
No the fact that it's a generic run-of-the mill shallow FPS makes it bad.
P.s the cocky cliche soldier dialouge sucks.

Instead play: Half Life 1 and 2, COD4, Halo 2.


Gears of War:

Macho, macho man. The oozing overcompensation of this homoerotic masterpiece makes it practically unbearable to play. Controlling an oversized grunt along with his equally oiled, and suited up men as you destroy giant vagina monsters is a chore at most.
I can imagine Gearbox making this, sitting with their pudging bellies and horn rimmed glasses wishing they could be this "kewlz." While Gears did work well with the now tiresome hide and cover mechanic, it was also fairly standard 3rd person shooting. You're a big hulking soldier again shooting aliens with zero depth, character development or a decent plot. Monsters come up to attack, grr, shoot them! That's it. You travel your way through fairly uninspired sequences that include all the usual, including the manditory mounted machine gun (see Killzone 2 aswell.)

Instead play: Uncharted: Drakes Fortune, MGS 1 - 4, Resident Evil 1 - 4

Also I shot an alien/monster/reaver/what-ever-the-fuck-they-are-called several times in the head to have him still come at me. That just sucks.


note: Character and plot is important to games, it gives you purpose and motivation to fight on through. Killing that final boss of saving a life feels amazingly satisfying when you have the urge and emotional response in order to do it. Games without this tire, because you feel as if you are fighting for no real purpsoe due to the shallow depth.


GTA4:

I have to say this. GTA4 is perhaps one of the worst games I have ever had the displeasure of playing, and I'm appalled by how mindless the video gaming world can sometimes be (that includes the sheep herded moronic journalists, whoa re too scared to even give it a near negative review.)

Put down the hype, the reputation of GTA and look at the game you are playing just for second. You're playing GTA3 but with a boob job and a bit of make up. Rockstar removed a ridiculous amount of gameplay elements from previous editions (Parachuting, plane driving), and set it in the same city as 3.
Contrary to popular belief the gameplay is neither new or innovative, it has never been. It's the same old familiar running and shooting and stealing car, wow. Now you can duck and cover, but it is near enough pointless it is so poorly implemented. Reviewers seem to cream when a driving mechanice is a tad more realistic or when some other trivial thing is implemented. Why not focuse on the fact that the game is nothing new? Why not focus on the glitches and errors that are present throughout the entire game? I hate the fact that a game being "sandbox" means it's allowed to have all these errors and generic aspects just because you can boringly freeroam the pain site that is Liberty City.

I'll add to that, by saying I dislike all GTA's. I don't hate them because I can have some fun running around, but is a matrialstic fun that soon dwindles away and then my integrity returns.

Here's a list of what makes all GTA games suck:

Countless glitches and hiccups during gameplay

Annoying gameplay devices, more-so GTA with that stupid keeping a friend thing, urgh, so boring and annoying.

Missions become the same old shit constantly in their usual inane gangsta stories.
shoot this guy, chase this guy, do this - yadda. When you fail a mssion at the last minute because of a car crash and you have to restart all over - oh man. Soo annoying.

Getting around the city is a pain in the ass, the small maps are useless. Thinking you've made it to a spot, when realy it's above you on the freeway sucks ass.

Cliche cliche cliche arectype characters.

When GTA5 comes out, and it is the same but with bigger this and smoother that, it'll still get 98% on reviews because Rockstar probably own the world.

Instead play: Anything. Oh and Red Faction Guerilla. A sandbox game, while not perfect has ironed out annoying gameplay elements in GTA and has fully destructable environments on Mars! You're on Mars for chrissake! No boring city!





That's all I can be bothered moaning about now. Here's a short list

FarCry 2
Resident Evil 5


Bleh, I'm going to play DeadSpace.